Shadow Work

I have walked beyond

The hungry gates of darkness

I have passed the bridge into the night

I have seen them

Swimming like minnows

Flickering, beating pin pricks of light

Floating with something more than gravity

Back into the tender eyes of source

 

I have called out to you

Across the long chasm of silence

Deep and wide and full of emptiness

I have shared my last loaf of light

I have walked

Naked and empty handed through the soul’s darkest night

My last crumbs fell across your shoes like stars

And hours, days, infinite moments, passed, as we grasped at fleeting light in the deepest patch of shadow

 

And here we stand hand to hand

Wide awake and open

Our veins uncovered

Our shadows outspoken

 

Twilight lingers where our edges touched.

 

 

I have read all the unwritten maps

Folding and unfolding

In every inch of my skin

I have walked through dusk and dawn

And I will tread this path again

 

I have wandered-empty-across the plain of darkness

And felt the weight of ripples

Ripping through reality like fingers tearing tissue paper

Echoing on every layer

 

The tide goes out

The tide comes in

The web is spun

The minnows swim

 

My eyes have seen

All my myriad lives spread out before me

Eternal, in every direction

The cycle unfolding

A circle, a sphere

We’re blossoming, molding,

Becoming more real

Multiplying faster and faster

The velocity tears the fear away, and the edges of your tears all fray, moaning into laughter

I have seen this, again and again

A million million stars hanging on to a web

A billion little pieces of blue glass

The darkest sky, the brightest stars

The night’s untold grey mystery:

She unfolds into day

The suns the rocks the stars the people:

We all explode

And fade away

I have watched the hills of many lives turn over,

Sitting on the bank next to you.

I have drank the brew and stirred the stew

I have faced the moon,

A stony mirror that hangs forever

In the ether

I have stood stone still

On the banks beneath her

Waiting for the tide to open up his arms of sunspeckles and seafoam

Waiting for the tide to turn

For the sun to burn

For the hills to bear their ancient bones

Waiting for the grandest celestial symphony

To loose the light and take me home

Dear Human

Dear Human,

You will get a heart. It will be made of butterflies and barbed wire.

And earth and moon and sky and break ups and forget me not’s and the little bell of Babies cries and tiny moments and golden eyelashes lacing the lids of your first Love’s moon blue eyes

 

It will bleed and break and mend

And send you over heaven’s fence

 

It will tear your fucking world apart.

 

You will hold up the carnage of your heart in your hands and think how you can never love again

But those moments will wane away and in time, your feet will find you at a door

The door will unlock a room in your heart that you’ve never seen before

 

In the room there is a box with a primordial spark

And it never goes out

This light never goes out

 

Dear human,

This is what being human is all about

We crash into each other like bits of flint

The heart sparks and burns and lights again

 

Dear human

LEAN IN

Wander off the middle path

Decompose your composure

Squander your security until your left empty with only eternity and a map in secret language

 

Dive into this

Naked, head first

No toes in the water

This life is meant to be lived

 

Dive into this

Write the story of your life in dew drops, tears, in blood and kisses

Dance in moonlight in the margins

Grab somebody’s holding hand and waltz right off the page

Hook your heart around the moon and lean into her gaze

 

 

 

When you look up at the stars you are watching ancient light

And those same stars that illuminate your sweet hands in the night

Course coolly through your veins

And blink bright out of your skull

There is a lullaby in the hull of your heart that only you can tell

And there is a darkness in your heart that’s dark as dark

And that is just as well

There’s a box that you can make in life; your own special hell

But there are boundaries you can break in life and places you can dwell

Where each breath sits up resoundingly astounding me as well

 

So gasp

Cry

Breath

Wipe your snot on your sleeve

Fuck and bumble

Sing and rumble

Pound a drum

 

 

Every hue of you

Each facet

Is alive

In this universal hive

We’re all swimming through the spark plug moon dew sky

Honey drenched and dripping

The whole place vibrating and rippling

We were running; now we’re tripping

We were gulping, now we’re sipping

We both drank the drink that dreamers brew

From sip to sip

From moon to you

We are crossing this ocean from lip to lip

One way or another

I hope this trip

Brings us close to each other

 

Just as close as we could be

When I am you and you are me and we

 

 

Are made of songs and light

We are made of sound and sight

We are logic, love and fright

We are magic, data, heartbeats and heartbreaks

We are Meta, moon, sun and might

We are tarnished burnt and bright

 

Dearest one

Throw down your heart and let loose this light

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suburban Holocaust

In my heart, there is a dark steep holocaust

Where suburbs grow like smoky jagged crystals

Looming sharp shadows that hang over my dreams

 

And in a tucked away neighborhood

Just beyond the trees

With the 3d printed houses where kids learn their ABCs

And skin their knees on their own little rectangles of grass and stolen earth

There, I tear my heart down

First

With an exhale giving up

I crush my compass at a chapel and resign myself to you

I burn my letters with a blue flame and I eat up all the ash

 

Lastly,

I tear my heart down

With a jagged piece of glass.

With a city and a street

With a silhouette of teeth

Where the paved down broken people meet and put all of their tokens neatly in the machine

It’s mostly silver and grey but there’s patches of green

Where the sheep all eat hay

And you lay down your dreams

And a man in a suit gives you a receipt and a child and a roof and a slice of rotten meat and everything you thought you were going to be burns away suddenly into cinders on your tongue

And the greenhouse gases from your dreams collect up in your lungs

And you struggle, something in you screams, but you keep climbing the rungs

And going to the grocery store

And washing your face

And tearing your heart out

Lace by red lace

 

You were a coyote

And a cactus with a crown

You were going to float around the world and make a lot of sound

But you sold your ticket and you gave up your crown for an insurance policy and a quiet place to drown

 

And you were doing just fine; all the knobs on your life support were beaming and bleeping

You were doing just fine,

You were screaming and seeping

And all your vital signs were right where we wanted them

You were going to quietly sleep through this life

With a suitcase and a wife and a summer home and an empty place to keep the empty electrical socket of your soul

And a shoebox and a Netflix account

And a rabbit in a hole

 

You were doing just fine until the sedative of slow emptiness wore off

And suddenly

You could feel

The teeth of the succubus slowly

Draining you out drop by crimson drop

and you cried out for more pain for more teeth

you cried out for a mirror so you could watch yourself bleed

you cried out for a time machine and a way to know what to need

your coinstacks all tumbled and you caved in your dreams

in your last breath you mumbled

but no one heard what you said

that last secret that you told

before your soul went to bed

 

but its been speculated

that the forest smiled that night

with dark and starspacled teeth

Maybe the world wrote off your taxes and granted you leave

and maybe the trees gulped you up

so you could finally breath.

 

Maybe you slipped away quietly into the dark sleeve of night

Maybe someone, somewhere flicked back on your lights.

 

Aura Music Festival

A couple of great shots from Aura. Work in progress! Double click the photo to see more. Thanks for the great live paint action shot Jason Koerner! 12794723_10205659370154529_3690637426165914808_o 12794793_757870347681800_8688660382639984983_o

Peru Mural!

Here are some pictures of my first mural outside of the US. It was part of a collaborative project with 20 artists from all over the world in which we each painted a mural on a building dedicated to Grandmother ayahuasca and the results were pretty magical. This mural was completed in five days from start to finish. Please click on the photo to see more pictures. IMG_1522IMG_1610 IMG_1547

 

 

 

 

Shamanic Technology Collaboration

Wow! I am so excited to share this with you. It’s a new song (and the opening track on the new album) by Shamanic Technology, featuring me reading my poetry. Check it out and feel free to share. Here is the link: https://soundcloud.com/shamanic-technology/the-day-i-saw-the-world-feat-emily-kell?in=shamanic-technology%2Fsets%2Fshadow-work-teasers-and-clips

Third Eye Tapestries

I’ve been working with Third Eye Tapestries to make my artwork into tapestries. The results have been pretty cool! These are available for purchase on my website (etsy.com/shop/emkell) or theirs (thirdeyetapestries.com) IMG_2078

We’Moon

I’m very happy and excited to announce that my painting ‘Cosmic Whispers’ (2013-14) is going to be on the cover of we’moon 2017! If you’re not familiar with we’moon yet, I highly recommend checking it out! It is an amazing publication featuring artwork by women all over the world♥ I am feeling hugely honored to have my artwork on the cover and two pieces printed inside, and I’m grateful for this great big global network of sisterhood.

 

redgirl, 6/21/15, 12:55 PM, 16C, 4150x8000 (830+0), 100%, Repro 1.8 v2,   1/8 s, R105.2, G36.0, B53.6

 

19 The Fool Card