In the beginning, there was a fury of noise
Black cloaked maidens spat ribbons of gray stars,
Arcing into brilliant rivers,
And shaking off their casings,
They fell across the empty blackness;
into a white, etheric dance.
In the beginning,
Ancient spirits peaked through invisible doors and
Plucked through thickets of stars
They pulled their black hems across the threshold-
They came: solemn, dark, demonic, godlike, gross, and gay-
The sorceress of night, the grandmother of Fae
They came one after another
With long and timeworn faces
To watch the unfurling of the Great Spiral.
In the beginning, you were there-
We sat dewy-lipped with silent smiles
In the center of a great seed,
Watching as All-Everything snaked across the sky:
Illuminating our new veins, lightning of each color
Stained our umbilicus with pregnant possibility.
The greatest drum pounded proud songs out into new ears
And the first tears were formed and fell across the face of the night,
Watering the seeds that would sprout into All-Life
We held our hearts and whispered songs
Into new and unborn palms
Breathing in and out anew
In the sacred tongue that filled our lungs and slipped from lips before the dawn of time.
It was there waiting for us,
And written in the sky:
The secret language of everything.
It is there still
It lingers silent in the center of the great eye
For us to slip across it,
To slide with impossible beauty,
To cry the first words….
To breathe fresh stars
Into the spiral anew.
Fashion an altar of the souls of your feet:
Sticks and stones and ocean bones//
Save the thickest tears for the center.
Let your roots roll out from underneath you
Until you find the perfect place (you will know it)
It is untouched by the wind.
This is the place where you are tethered.
Lay your stories down here
Lay down all your wind and rain.
Pluck a twig from the right tree and lay it across just so.
Bleach your bones in the sun
One deep scream
Three drops of rich umber blood
It is finished.
Welcome back to the land of the living
Look at how your hand begins to pulse pinkly now; do you remember?
There were veins and they carried moments into your heart. You had eyes and they used to open- see?
You climbed over the fence from the endless fields of once-grass:
Dry and wind-splintered now.
And the sky without stars held you down like a clean glass window.
You are a beetle, needle-pierced and pressed in velvet
You straddled the worlds and moon and sun both disavowed you.
Do you remember their stony faces as you floated through the gate?
We will take you back, because you left a small tea candle burning
On the sill of your brow.
You bent your will on the wind like a sail and when the storm came, you surrendered
We will take you back now into the hearth of life.
It is beating, do you remember?
You left us once, but only like a cow that gives its hide to a drum, and something small and musical still whispered up from the empty space once graced by the letters of your name.
silently, you pressed small seeds into the ground, and the burial mounds all stared up at you in wonder,
as little gray-blue petals pushed out of the pores of the earth; her ashen face now flowering sullenly.
We looked at you then and saw two wheels spinning in opposite directions.
We beckoned you back and you dully slid over the land toward the band that bundles earth to ever-after.
your leg became entagled on the metal brambles of barb, as you blindly made the passage over cold-dead-ancient stones.
You scraped your knees on scorched shadows and the skeletons of stories.
You slid away then,
And the people said it was over:
What was you
had gone home
Like salt from stones,
And the sun licked the blood from your bones,
And your lips slipped away with your moans
In blue shadows.
Your Split pelvis sank in the shallows. Life loosely lay across it, undecided.
Your teeth broke like ice on the empty nest of your breath.
Your eyes opened like pales of oceanic milk:: blinking at a vast new field of stars.
They spoke out, and in an ancient dance, they said to the lost council of everyone:
You are going to hurt
When you’re walking this earth
Crawling lost through this dirt
you will crawl bent-armed and backwards, scratching Lillith’s rhythms into the skull of the new world
You will carry the black moon in the hull of your pelvis and your womb will breathe your tears and all your stories out onto the earth.
Even your blackest seeds will carry life within their bellies.
We will take you back.
I am making soft and purple waves in this world; I am drinking in tarot and tea,
I am slicing my stories on silver slivers of Moon.
I am seducing myself
Back into Self Love,
Basking in a new womb.
Sliding into One Rhythm with my slow hips-
My twisted spine, my stained fingertips,
And all the stories spilling through my skin in black ink.
There is peace in the space between and breath in the stones
There is sun in your lungs and song in your bones.
The moon’s white eyes see everything
She smiles silverly down on miles of darkened green.
(Sometimes I think the night is even darker than what we can see)
sometimes (I think) the light gets lost for years before it sees the sea
Sometimes I find lost patches of the gray and black, like glass in me.
I stare up to the dome of sky, I offer up a salty cry, I lick lost lips, kiss fingertips.
And find my broken home within.
I curse the night and nurse my hips
I clutch the wheel and glance at cold eternity
She stares her silver eyes right back at me-
The mirrored ceiling of the sky is laughing and bending,
It watches firey tears and lovers lie, as all-everything unravels, to coil back to One.
I travel up a lonely mountain, I fill my cup up with the sun
I shout up to the emptiness
And lay down my lost tongue
I find the first foot on the ladder
And I start to climb the rungs
The veil is lifted
sand is sifted
The sea is gifted to the ground now.
I am lost and I am found now.
I belong to the sea glass,
Scraping itself smooth
On the ocean floor.
I belong to the sand dunes and
To the fire at the core
I belong to twisted grace and this place could never hold my space for long.
I untie all my prayers and untether my blessings
I pray my soul up to the air and spread out in all directions
I float all up, up and away, and they never find a body
I peak through rain clouds in the day
And cherry pick through star clusters in the darkey-dark.
My teeth are stars strung across the ceiling
I sew the lights, the blackness healing.
The sky’s a lavish tapestry sewn up with all the threads of me.
((There’s a side of empty that you never see))
And there’s a pitch black-black within the sun (the darkey-dark of everyone).
It sinks: everything.
The sun and the moon go their different ways now,
And suddenly, there’s no one here.
But the women’s wombs are here to stay now
And the earth is pregnant with seeds.